Are you “shoulding” all over yourself?

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Are you “shoulding” all over yourself?

You’ll know because you’ll hear it in the way you talk.


It’ll sound like this:

⚠️ I really should start a diet.

⚠️ I should get my house organized.

⚠️ I should go to the gym.


Maybe you are not using that word.  Perhaps you prefer its cousins:


🔸ought to🔸supposed to 

&🔸need to.


These words are some of the most self-degrading & judgemental words we can use on ourselves and of course, it’s the subject of my NYE #pardonMyPositivity post. 😉


As we begin a new year and consider goals & intentions for 2019, I hope you and I stop “shoulding” on ourselves. 


If you stop and think about it, every time you use should or its cousins in your vocabulary, you take yourself out of the drivers seat of your life.  The word “should” is full of criticism and negativity.  It makes me feel like a small child being scolded or told what to do. 


But since we are no longer children, we don’t have to treat ourselves like that, do we?


The next time you catch yourself using it stop and ask yourself the more important question... do I want to or not?  


Even better, ask yourself do you want the feeling that that usually accompanies the should?


Hang with me here... let’s put it to the test with “I should start a diet.” 


Ask Why? 

Because I am feeling unhealthy.   

I’m feeling uncomfortable in my clothes.  

I’m feeling tired.  


Next, ask yourself what you want.  

I want to feel healthy!

I want to fit in my clothes.

I want more energy.


I think you can see what I’m suggesting here, yes?  Doesn’t I want feel better & change the focus?


But before I wrap this up...  Be careful to catch yourself thinking or saying this one too. 


I really shouldn’t....


You’ll hear it followed by:

🚨 I shouldn’t ...Eat that.

🚨 I shouldn’t ...Have another drink.

🚨 I shouldn’t .... Watch so much tv.

🚨 I shouldn’t... Stay up so late.

The list is endless.


Again, so much judgement and only serves to make you feel bad.  It’s no wonder we rarely follow through and end up feeling worse! 


🌟♥️🌟 We talk to ourselves like we have no self control and then we turn around an exercise our control by not following through on what we wanted because we made it a should! 🌟♥️🌟


Here’s the thing.. words have power, especially the words you say to and about yourself.   After all, you are always listening! 


So this year,  I’m suggesting we remove the “shoulds” from our vocabulary and replace it with things & feelings we want.  It may not be easy in the beginning but it’s worth the trouble ... you know why? Because YOU are worth it! 


I hope all of your vibes today say I’ve got this!  Happy New Year! ♥️ Darlene


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