Stop Shoulding on you. 😉

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Okay! We are in the first week of this brand new year and I gotta ask.....Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? 😉

You’ll know because you’ll hear it in the way you talk.

It’ll sound like this:
⚠️ I really should eat more veggies.
⚠️ I should get up and organize the pantry.
⚠️ I should go to the gym today.

Or perhaps you prefer its cousins:🔸ought to🔸supposed to &🔸need to.

These words are some of the most judgemental words we can use on ourselves and of course, it’s the subject of my #pardonMyPositivity post.

When I “should” on myself, I never feel motivated. There is just so much criticism & negativity behind it. It makes me feel like a small child being scolded or told what to do. I didn’t like it back then so I certainly don’t like it now. For me, it just doesn’t work. I don’t know when or how we learned to talk to ourselves that way but I wanted to share what really helps me.

The next time you catch yourself using it stop & ask yourself the more important question... do I want to or not? Even better, ask yourself what feeling you want that usually accompanies the should?

Here’s what I mean let’s say you catch yourself saying “I should start a diet.” Ask yourself “Why?”

🔹Because I am feeling unhealthy.
🔹 I’m feeling uncomfortable in my clothes. 🔹 I’m feeling tired.

Next, ask what you want.
I want to feel healthy!
I want to fit in my clothes.
I want more energy.

I think you can see what I’m suggesting here, yes? Doesn’t “I want” feel better & change the focus? I’m much more likely to try when I thinking of what I want instead of what I "should" be doing.

But before I wrap this up... catch yourself thinking or saying this one too.

I really shouldn’t. You’ll hear it followed by:
🚨 I shouldn’t ...Eat that.
🚨 I shouldn’t .... Watch so much tv.
🚨 I shouldn’t... Stay up so late.
Blah.. blah...blah. Again, so much judgement and only serves to make you feel bad. It’s no wonder we rarely follow through and end up feeling worse!

🌟 We talk to ourselves like we have no self control and then we turn around an exercise our control by not following through on what we wanted because we made it a should!

Here’s the thing.. words have power, especially the words you say to and about yourself. After all, you are always listening!

So this year, let’s remove the “shoulds” & replace it with things & feelings we want. It may not be easy in the beginning but it’s worth the trouble. You know why? Because YOU are worth it!

I hope all of your vibes today say I’ve got this! Happy New Year! ♥️ Darlene


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