Okay! We are in the first week of this brand new year and I gotta ask.....Are you âshouldingâ all over yourself? đ
Youâll know because youâll hear it in the way you talk.
Itâll sound like this:
â ď¸ I really should eat more veggies.
â ď¸ I should get up and organize the pantry.
â ď¸ I should go to the gym today.
Or perhaps you prefer its cousins:đ¸ought tođ¸supposed to &đ¸need to.
These words are some of the most judgemental words we can use on ourselves and of course, itâs the subject of my #pardonMyPositivity post.
When I âshouldâ on myself, I never feel motivated. There is just so much criticism & negativity behind it. It makes me feel like a small child being scolded or told what to do. I didnât like it back then so I certainly donât like it now. For me, it just doesnât work. I donât know when or how we learned to talk to ourselves that way but I wanted to share what really helps me.
The next time you catch yourself using it stop & ask yourself the more important question... do I want to or not? Even better, ask yourself what feeling you want that usually accompanies the should?
Hereâs what I mean letâs say you catch yourself saying âI should start a diet.â Ask yourself âWhy?â
đšBecause I am feeling unhealthy.
đš Iâm feeling uncomfortable in my clothes. đš Iâm feeling tired.
Next, ask what you want.
I want to feel healthy!
I want to fit in my clothes.
I want more energy.
I think you can see what Iâm suggesting here, yes? Doesnât âI wantâ feel better & change the focus? Iâm much more likely to try when I thinking of what I want instead of what I "should" be doing.
But before I wrap this up... catch yourself thinking or saying this one too.
I really shouldnât. Youâll hear it followed by:
đ¨ I shouldnât ...Eat that.
đ¨ I shouldnât .... Watch so much tv.
đ¨ I shouldnât... Stay up so late.
Blah.. blah...blah. Again, so much judgement and only serves to make you feel bad. Itâs no wonder we rarely follow through and end up feeling worse!
đ We talk to ourselves like we have no self control and then we turn around an exercise our control by not following through on what we wanted because we made it a should!
Hereâs the thing.. words have power, especially the words you say to and about yourself. After all, you are always listening!
So this year, letâs remove the âshouldsâ & replace it with things & feelings we want. It may not be easy in the beginning but itâs worth the trouble. You know why? Because YOU are worth it!
I hope all of your vibes today say Iâve got this! Happy New Year! âĽď¸ Darlene
Youâll know because youâll hear it in the way you talk.
Itâll sound like this:
â ď¸ I really should eat more veggies.
â ď¸ I should get up and organize the pantry.
â ď¸ I should go to the gym today.
Or perhaps you prefer its cousins:đ¸ought tođ¸supposed to &đ¸need to.
These words are some of the most judgemental words we can use on ourselves and of course, itâs the subject of my #pardonMyPositivity post.
When I âshouldâ on myself, I never feel motivated. There is just so much criticism & negativity behind it. It makes me feel like a small child being scolded or told what to do. I didnât like it back then so I certainly donât like it now. For me, it just doesnât work. I donât know when or how we learned to talk to ourselves that way but I wanted to share what really helps me.
The next time you catch yourself using it stop & ask yourself the more important question... do I want to or not? Even better, ask yourself what feeling you want that usually accompanies the should?
Hereâs what I mean letâs say you catch yourself saying âI should start a diet.â Ask yourself âWhy?â
đšBecause I am feeling unhealthy.
đš Iâm feeling uncomfortable in my clothes. đš Iâm feeling tired.
Next, ask what you want.
I want to feel healthy!
I want to fit in my clothes.
I want more energy.
I think you can see what Iâm suggesting here, yes? Doesnât âI wantâ feel better & change the focus? Iâm much more likely to try when I thinking of what I want instead of what I "should" be doing.
But before I wrap this up... catch yourself thinking or saying this one too.
I really shouldnât. Youâll hear it followed by:
đ¨ I shouldnât ...Eat that.
đ¨ I shouldnât .... Watch so much tv.
đ¨ I shouldnât... Stay up so late.
Blah.. blah...blah. Again, so much judgement and only serves to make you feel bad. Itâs no wonder we rarely follow through and end up feeling worse!
đ We talk to ourselves like we have no self control and then we turn around an exercise our control by not following through on what we wanted because we made it a should!
Hereâs the thing.. words have power, especially the words you say to and about yourself. After all, you are always listening!
So this year, letâs remove the âshouldsâ & replace it with things & feelings we want. It may not be easy in the beginning but itâs worth the trouble. You know why? Because YOU are worth it!
I hope all of your vibes today say Iâve got this! Happy New Year! âĽď¸ Darlene
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